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[personal profile] blustocking
The surprise went well. My family didn't suspect a thing. My mom called me a smartass and then hugged me and cried. My sister squealed like a little kid and ran across the room, and cried. My Dad was equally as happy, but crying isn't his bag. It was nice. And it is nice. If only they didn't live in such a shitty town. Seriously. I spent more time with my niece and that was really good, to get to know her more as an adult, one-on-one.

It's so depressing here and Winter only makes it worse. Life is so easy and that is one of the biggest reasons I left. It's so easy to slip into patterns here, become complacent. Even in Lawrence. I love Lawrence, but...well, things are just easier here. Things work. Like roads, officials, schools. That, and it's a tad bit boring, because of, in spite of...whatever.

I went to the storage unit today to retrieve my coat, some misc. items and it was more stressful than I had anticipated. Being surrounded by things, so many THINGS, not knowing when or where or how I'll move them somewhere. Wanting so many of those THINGS, yet not really needing any of them...except my art supplies, CDs, books....see...here it goes... What do I really need? I would LIKE to have my oil paints, but that's a little snowball right there. If I want my oils, then I want canvas and tools, and a studio. Maybe I should just leave it here and see what I can do without it for awhile. Still, it would be nice to find them since they will go bad and they are expensive. Shit this is dull.
At any rate, I need to decide what and where my future is. I can't keep this crap in storage forever and sooner or later my friends will want me to come get some of my furniture, not to mention that it was getting humid in the unit and water was beading on the floor and ceiling. I'm worried for the paintings, books, photos...

I'm sitting in a coffee shop I spent a good chunk of my teenage years in and it's messing with me. The whole town messes with me. I sleep in my childhood room with a ceiling full of stars and dream 12-year-old dreams.

My crazy family sang Happy Birthday to Jesus on Christmas. My sister made a birthday cake.
I have it all on video. Oh yes.
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