I DRINK TEA EVERY MORNING NOWADAYS

HOLY MALARKY, I wish my allergies would act up and become annoying when I'm trying to sing along loudly. *shakes fist* I trimmed my cuticles today. They look rad. I'ma paint my nails that prismatic amberish color later and then my toenails the prismatic bluish-purple. *goes back to looking for jobs*

Watch out, it's a caps kinda day.

ONE NIGHT IN BANGKOK MAKES A HARD MAN HUMBLE.

rhetorical question of the day

Is it wrong to apply for a job just so that you can say "I sell propane and propane accessories"?

jobby mcjobberson

me: god I hate writing cover letters
me: Dear Company,

I'm fucking qualified. In fact, I'm probably over-qualified. A monkey could do this fuckin' job. So just give it to me.

Ever so sincerely,
Jill.
some Irish doof: Dear Jill,

Due to your stench, we're afraid that the position has already been filled.

Not sincerely,
Company McGee.
me: Dear Company McGee, if that is your REAL name,

Thank you for considering my resume. However, I didn't want to work for your two-bit operation in the first place.

Oh, and I slept with your wife or husband.

Still sincerely,
Jill.
some Irish doof: Dear smelly applicant,

We do not endorse bisexuality. Please take your stinky, philandering business else where.

O, and I came on this letter you're touching.

Blow me,
Cumpany President.
me: Dear Mr. President,

Smelly?

Eat my ass,
Jill

p.s. your wife endorses bisexuality, every Thursday...when you're playing poker.
some Irish doof: Die
me: hahaha

As you can see, I win. AS PER USUAL.