sing it, Pru-baby

"I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas."

I'm taking BritLit, deal with it.

I got the job at Borders (yay! discount!). I'll be able to afford to live now. I've made swank business cards advertising my photographic (as opposed to pornographic, but these two could be combined) services. I'll post the image later. My old Supe (at Pearson, and not the one I had/have a crush on) and I might be entering into an on-the-side on-request stock photo venture. He's more motivated and technologically advanced than I am (with websites and crap). I still need a site dedicated to my portraiture and artsy-farsty photographic endeavours. A (working) site for Shamelessbastards.com, and possibly a site just for me. I also need internet access at home. Oy.

I took (some of) my nephew's senior pics yesterday. It was nice. They came to Lawrence and we went to Milton's for lunch, then walked around downtown before taking pics. My niece's fiancé needs to not allude to sex with my niece in my presence though. I'm no prude, by any means, but damn...it's my niece. He's a good guy otherwise.

Oddly enough, after I posted about David Rees, I found out that he will be doing a signing at Olive Gallery on Thursday. I'm thinking of going. Wednesday night is The Faint concert. Friday, I may be meeting up with Ian...

On that front:

It's hard. My instinct is to cut him out completely. He does not want this by any means. I think he thinks this is all temprorary. I'm not so sure. I don't forsee wanting a boyfriend in the near future. Not him, not anyone. We talked last night. It started out as me trying to pull away, telling him to come get his furniture, and him getting hurt and pissy. We pecked at each other and then calmed and talked. I'm fearful. I'm so scared I will have to hurt hime (more). Right now, he's just sad, but distracted by being with his brother and father and getting his diploma. I've told him I don't want a boyfriend...I don't think he understands. He asked me a good question last night though..."what would it take, what would someone have to do, for you to trust them." I have no answer. *sigh*
He also brought up my sad booty-call, which I was hoping he wouldn't do, and said if he'd gotten it earlier, things might have been different. I don't know if this is good or bad. I am seeing him Friday, and I may end up thinking with "little-Jill". Is this wrong? Isn't it better to get it from someone you know than to go out and fuck random people? OH YES JILL, let's be logical. (He also accused me of under-reacting sometimes (after I accused him of over-reacting). This has never been said of me, so I think he's either full of shit, or I've shut off.) And here we sigh again, because I know I won't be able to hold back (I masturbated 5 times yesterday and it's always on my mind). Will this hurt him more? What if I'm clear about it not changing anything? I already told him it's probably a good thing he didn't get my message sooner because it probably would have messed things up.
We'll see...

I got a B+ (88%) on my BritLit mid-term. I hope I got an A on my paper. She said my writing was "a pleasure to read", but that I didn't push my arguments far enough, which was true. Two essays and 15 identification in an hour and a half, it was hard to gauge time. Anyway, B+ is good.
I think I might take Intaglio and Photog I next semester. I have to find money, as I've spent my financial aid on rent. Yet, I'm still not sorry that I quit my suck-ass former job. :)