blustocking (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
blustocking) wrote2002-09-17 01:33 pm
blustocking) wrote2002-09-17 01:33 pm
you always want what you cannot have...
I want to be non-existent in New York. I want to seclude myself in a city of thousands. A city unlike any other, a city opposite this one. I want to be alone(not entirely) with my cat, my books, my art supplies, and a typewriter...no computer...possibly a television stored away to watch The Simpsons when it catches my fancy. I want a complete change, flip it over, hit re-start.
I'm tired of my job(s). I'm tired of my stress, my surroundings, the person I live with. I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of everything I have to do, everything I want to do and never have time. I'm tired of me, my moods, my fucking insecurities. I'm tired of failing, falling, flailing.
...and then you get it and you don't want it anymore.
But I do.
And I can't.
And I won't.
So let it go.
***
I'm tired of my job(s). I'm tired of my stress, my surroundings, the person I live with. I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of everything I have to do, everything I want to do and never have time. I'm tired of me, my moods, my fucking insecurities. I'm tired of failing, falling, flailing.
...and then you get it and you don't want it anymore.
But I do.
And I can't.
And I won't.
So let it go.
***