blustocking | however much I'm falling down...it's never enough (Reply)

Not even 3 days. Yeehaw!
Awww, I knew I couldn't stay away. I just needed to get rid of the temptation of baring my goddamn heart somewhat publicly. *pauses to yell at co-worker, telling him to "Eat crap!"* That just about sums up my mood today. Je suis une "classy bish".

I feel like beating the crap out of someone. I think I've punched Scott (FLAMING GAY co-worker who hath previously received the decree to consume feces) about four or five times since I arrived at work approximately 6 hours ago.

I've had nothing to eat today. But I HAVE had a lot of caffeine.
I love caffeine. I LOOOOVE IIIIIT. It makes everything A. Fuckin' Okay. Seriously, I never had a thing for drugs. The very few that I've tried never did anything for me and I don't get addicted. Again, that pesky "need" for things. But damn if I don't feel so much better when I've had a fuckload of caffeine. I love you cheap, fairly non-addictive stimulant. That, and the Cure will help sustain my current IGNORE IT AND IT WILL GO AWAY policy. It's not really working, but I like to pretend.

Actually, I'm okay. I think. I'm okay when I don't think. No...yeah, That's it.

I was going through a bitchload of old photos over the weekend, and aside from the fact that I came across more pictures of a dead friend, I found a rather charming picture of me at 14. I had planned on scanning it and showing it to you filthy pod-people, but I have no scanner and the one that I use here at work hath sprouted legs and walked to someone else's desk. Perhaps later.

Tomorrow I get to meet Al Gore.
Fuck you. I like him.

I haven't been eating very well lately, as in...I haven't been eating. I'm trying to make myself eat though. I don't want to end up looking like I did in high school. My head is too big to be that skinny. Orange on a toothpick.

My parents want me to come home in March now. They're worried about me driving during the Winter. I have yet to decide if I should or not. I don't care about driving in the fucking Winter. I drove out here by myself in January, I'll leave in fucking January. But I don't really feel like I have a reason to rush the move anymore, so I don't know. Maybe I'll wait until after APE. Thing is, I'm ready to leave now. I can be very impatient. Once I finally make my decision, I'm ready for the follow-through. I might just leave as planned based on pure stubbornness. Maybe I'll get a group of friends together to make the trip home. Might be fun.

I am so moody. It's very annoying. I should stop sulking and enjoy my last few months here. I haven't gone out in ages. I can't remember the last movie I saw. I rarely see my friends. I don't feel like drinking still, so that's out.

locopuff we really need to go dancing, O' Non-Drinking Buddy Of Mine. I remember a time when I didn't worry so much. I miss that. Now that I have a semi-normal schedule, I suppose I could go out more. I've decided to put off the car insurance at least until the 23rd, as that's when a speeding ticket (from 3 years ago) comes off my record. Thing is though, about going out in this town, it always seems like a good idea but it's generally disappointing. Didneylan' fun must be had before they change the Haunted Mansion back though. I want to go photograph parts of downtown before I leave too.

My car payment was due today.
Fuck.

Store-bought bleaching kits are a joke. I bought one yesterday because walking to the drugstore sounded much better than taking the bus to the beauty supply store. NEVER A-GAIN!
It's not bad, but it's not enough of a change. My hair is now just a lighter brown with streaky highlights and an orangeish tone in parts. Okay, it looks better than it sounds. The only colors that looked really bad on me were green and blue, and those were just the wrong shades. DO NOT ever put Kool-Aid on bleached hair. Are you taking notes? Write that down. I think I want magenta/fuchsia hair next. Haven't done that one for awhile. That color is hard to get out though...we'll see.

Seems to be the mantra as of late.
"We'll see."
And such.

p.s. The Faint also make me feel better. :D Awwwww ye-uh.

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