color me a pompous fuck

[blustocking]

I think that's some sort of magenta or something.

Admit it.
We love a failure.
You don't want to read about how good things are going, how anyone is growing as a person, about how wonderful this bucketful of life is right now. Hell, I don't even want to write it. Sure, you may want things to go well for the people you care about, even want to read the occasional happy-smappy-I'm-so-lucky-and-stable post. But too much of that shite and your mind starts to wander.
Maybe I'm just an asshole though.
Or maybe you're just a fucking liar.
;)

Because if someone's doing so well, if they're learning confidence, and expanding their horizons as a wonderful waste of human flesh, you start to wonder..."What the fuck is wrong with me? Why do THEY have it so great? What the fuck do THEY think they know. She'll fall soon, oh yes." And then, when it happens, you maybe feel a little bad, but are secretly vindicated. It's okay, it's how we work. Because I'll be the first to admit that I rather enjoy a good, trite angry post, a solid little rant about something rather small or medium...as long as it's well-written, yeah? Moderation is the key to the spice of life. Which is, incidentally, good sex.

So shove this down your pants...

Fuck online journals for making stupid people think they're pretty fucking deep. And fuck them for stroking everyone's "I'm a writer" organs. Thousands of new dickheads, flapping in the breeze of longevity and ego. Come again? No thanks.
Seriously. Think about it. There may even be a few on your friends list now, the poor saps you don't have the heart to de-friend. Not mine though, 'cause I'm perfect. But the people I know on this here two-way connection to Hermitville are generally intelligent, thoughtful people. Scary stuff when you wander outside your little online cliques and contained worlds, no? Because what you have here, is a smaaaaaall sample of ye olde population (Does LJ even HAVE a "random" button any more? Or was it too upsetting.) But more and more, the stupids have a voice, they have meeeaning, they have a method of spreading their disease and infecting the populace. WTFOMGOLOLOLOL!!1
We don't have to worry about "Rage", we have to worry about "Dumb, with a bloated sense of importance and self-image". I know. I done seen 'em.

Do you realize, that these are the people that breed the most? Do you see where this is going? We're either going to have to:
a. start breeding more ourselves, just to ensure we're not all walking around humping cactuses and beating each other with rocks.
b. find a new planet and don't tell them.
c. or start killing.

Now I know which one you all immediately jump to. But if we kill them all, who will clean up? Who will collect your garbage and kill your beef? AHAHAHAHA. I just called all of those people stupid. Now you know I don't think that's fucking true, but c'mon. There IS a system working here. So is that it, are the Smart Kids destined to forever be the minority? Or is it getting worse. (I love putting things in black and white, ahehehe) And do you really want to start popping out babies just to ensure more Smart Kids anyway. What if your illegal immigrant nanny drops them on their head? What if you're such an arrogant fuckwad that you mess them up anyway, so we just end up breeding a series of mentally capable, but emotionally unstable assholes, serial killers, and CEOs. So I guess we have to find a new planet and keep it under wraps. But that's not going to happen, because too many of us smarties are afflicted with "teh lazy". N'est pas?

The point of this tripe?

Don't be an idiot.
And never forget, you're a fucking idiot.
It's a delicate balance really.

Comments

[catwoman980.livejournal.com]

Let me explain...

No, there is too much. Let me sum up.

Ain't nothin' happenin', this whole shit is my shit bitch and I'm the captian
Can't beat me join me baby then get to clappin'
Bang it in ya whip to get ya neck snappin'
I know you hopin' that I rest so you can breathe
Stressed when we in the same places 'till I leave
Whisper to they friends what they wanna do to me
Wish they could erase me, take away the air I breathe
And I feed 'cuz that shit only give me hunger pains
Never let you muhfuckas put out my flame
Ready for whatever, was trained to maintain
And I always been a savage 'bout the fame
Separate the girls from the women and the winnin'
Always knew the thrill was worth it from the beginnin'
Baby what's the deal I'm hurtin' 'em how I'm livin'
I gotta conquer it all now the world's my wishin'

[xopiateslavex.livejournal.com]

>>Don't be an idiot.
And never forget, you're a fucking idiot.
It's a delicate balance really.<<

And *how*. What a fabulous entry!

***
heathyr wynne

[chaoticasylum.livejournal.com]

my favourite co-worker (http://www.livejournal.com/users/chaoticasylum/180443.html?mode=reply) is constantly trying to breed... can't seem to figure out why she can't get pregnant. I'm guessing it's the two previous abortions and the fact that her pothead husband smokes away all his sperm, but...eh.

It's not just LJ that makes people feel deep and thoughtful - everything pandersto the lowest common denominator now. Everything. There was a label on my milk today that said "Warning: Product contains allergen - Milk." Sosince we've ruled out the idea that people should need to think before doing something, we've made the iea of survival of the fittest extinct.

[motherevol.livejournal.com]

Okay, I take offense to the fact that I like to hump cacti and beat people with rocks. ;) Heck, what else is there to do in the vortex of suck? Befriend mullets that think cherry flavored Skoll is the new Pepsi? Haha!

Oh, how I wish they never revoked the "They Needed Killin'" law in Texas. Arizona certainly, among other demographics could use a burst of morale at this juncture in time. I know several people I'd like to ice and then blast off to Saturn so I could spend the rest of my day’s skate boarding on Huygens Gap. Wow, that Gap is something else I say.

[adrianrhod.livejournal.com]

Not mine though, 'cause I'm perfect.
How'd I end up on your friends list then? :P
(I use an emoticon, for you).

I was going to put a 'shoot 'em all and let god sort 'em out' simpsons reference here, but it's been so long since I saw that episode I can't remember exactly how the exchange goes. Sorry. I'm still working on buying you that lighthouse, by the way.

[crucible.livejournal.com]

I loved this. As a ridiculous overblown fuckwad myself, I'm in full agreement. While I shan't speak for others (not out of principle, but merely from sheer laziness and unjustified elitism), I beleive that I myself should be one of the first to be culled. That being said, I shall go to my well-deserved fate as soya farm fertilizer having at least read one of the most truthful fucking things that's ever been written here.

Not the same ep, but...

[chaoticasylum.livejournal.com]

"If elected Mayor, my first act will be to kill the whole lot of ya, and burn ya 'till ya turn to cinders."

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

Exactly. And now, the idjits can make MONEY from an inherent lack of brains and/or common sense (see: spilling hot coffee=lawsuit, or the like). Though, that might be more of an American trait.
*sigh* Before all of this "Protect the dumb to save the lawsuit" bullshit, these morons were offing themselves. Now WE just have to deal with them...and their offspring. Yeehaw.

And yes, I've read of your favorite co-worker. That particular session was QUITE amusing, and sad....but still amusing. Two abortions, eh? What, NOW she's ready? Who was she married to before, Crackhead McFurrylover?

You deserve a medal for your restraint. ;)

I hope I replied to the right one.

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

NO MATTER!

*bows with much flourish*

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

This is me, on not enough sleep.
:D

did you type that out?

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

I wish you were there, when I read this in my head.
Like poetry it was.
White-bread, Beat poetry.

[chaoticasylum.livejournal.com]

It wasn't her *fault* she had the abortions, see... (Why it's not her fault, I don't know. maybe jersey has roving feral packs of abortionists, preying on unsuspecting females?) and she thinks it'd be cute to have a baby. luckily, this is her first marriage.

you misspelled "believe"

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

You'll die for that.

p.s. Thanks though! :D

THAT'S IT

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

DE-FRIENDED.
OMG.

;)

Make sure it has stripes and I'll buy you a tanker full of hotpants. Aye, the hotpants.

baby, why you gotta poke me like dat?

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

I just watched the Insomniac that took place in Phoenix/Tempe/Snottsdale. Worst. Episode. Ever.
I'm coming to kidnap you and bring you here. It's almost Chicago. :}

you see I tripped, and landed on this coat hanger

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

I hope it pops out with its head spinning.

dewd

[jnglboogi.livejournal.com]

um, was this post about me??
=i'm off to write some poetry now=

haha


and i say to this post a big FUCK YES! aaah--took the words right outta my mouth, miss J!

i'll be the first and the last to admit that i AM the biggest fucktard--but i luuuuurv it! everyday i'm surprised that ANYONE reads my mindless ramblings on this fucking thing...go figure!

OMG HOO TOLD??!!

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

did u talk 2 cindy, cuz I told her not 2 tell u that bitch!!! GAWD, like, this wasnt even about u newayz.

;D

Oh, ho ho...you're not a fucktard. I could link a few fucktards right here...and no, don't any of you get your pants in a knot. It's none-a you.

[blackmanxy.livejournal.com]

The Coffee Lawsuit (http://lawandhelp.com/q298-2.htm)

Sorry, but that one's a hot-button with me.

she reads my mind

[twinbee.livejournal.com]

Moderation is the key to the spice of life. Which is, incidentally, good sex. --you

I came up with the exact same though about a week ago. Internal voice 1 (cliche) said: "variety is the spice of life"
Internal voice 2 (tureself 81) said: 'Good sex is the spice of life".

Can you read my fucking mind or what?

[chaoticasylum.livejournal.com]

nods

McDonalds was in the wrong... I've just given up arguing that point to many. However - it's now become more of a catchall for truly dumb lawsuits... like the lady who sued a furniture store becauseshe tripped over some kids running around and broke her ankle... the store was found liable...and they were *her kids*...

there are many frivilous lawsuits out there, and many that are won... mostly on the idea that you're not really suing people, you're suing insurance companies - an idea that really is the number one fallacy when speaking aboutthese things at all.

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

So McDonald's, a major corporation, is pretty much..well...a major corporation. Big surprise. It was just an example. Perhaps I should have pulled other examples of our namby-pamby, litigious society out of my ass. Because the point was, it's no longer an "accident", but a way to make money. We're no longer responsible for taking care of ourselves, common sense, or just being a clumsy fucker. I mean, sure, I guess she had some right to get money for the medical expenses. So I guess the idiot jury is to blame for the exorbitant amount. But again, that speaks volumes as well.

Long live the anger of the intelligent! VIVA BLU!

[spasmolytic.livejournal.com]

Here, here!

VIVA VULVA!

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

PANTALOONS FOR EVERYONE!

Good Sex U.

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

"spicy sex is the good of life"

Yes, I can. Two words.
Anal. Probe.