You and I don't post in each other's journal much. But I find this a very interesting discussion to follow.
I was spanked frequently as a child, both by hand and through the use of a wooden spoon (that'll leave a mark). Also my stepfather has a very violent temper and is prone to outbursts of rage, while he never hit me, he held me against walls by my shirt at times while he yelled or took out his anger on nearby items. Being a very timid child, this made me terrified of him, and to this day (I'm 23) something about him still scares me.
I honestly don't know if being spanked left an impact on my sexual life. I never draw paralells between spanking/being spanked or other dom/sub activities and my childhood. I can lead or follow, however I haven't had many partners who would be willing to lead. The few times it's happened I tend to go sub pretty strongly and enjoy it very much... it is definitely my leaning. Perhaps they are linked. The fact that both my parents and my stepfather were all strong, domineering individuals and that I was spanked by them could have something to do with it. However, unlike you, being spanked usually made me feel defeated rather than defiant.
I guess sexually I like feeling defeated and at the whim of my partner. No matter if that is physically or psychologically.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
momijizukamori
Hrm...
Date: 2002-03-15 03:57 pm (UTC)I was spanked frequently as a child, both by hand and through the use of a wooden spoon (that'll leave a mark). Also my stepfather has a very violent temper and is prone to outbursts of rage, while he never hit me, he held me against walls by my shirt at times while he yelled or took out his anger on nearby items. Being a very timid child, this made me terrified of him, and to this day (I'm 23) something about him still scares me.
I honestly don't know if being spanked left an impact on my sexual life. I never draw paralells between spanking/being spanked or other dom/sub activities and my childhood. I can lead or follow, however I haven't had many partners who would be willing to lead. The few times it's happened I tend to go sub pretty strongly and enjoy it very much... it is definitely my leaning. Perhaps they are linked. The fact that both my parents and my stepfather were all strong, domineering individuals and that I was spanked by them could have something to do with it. However, unlike you, being spanked usually made me feel defeated rather than defiant.
I guess sexually I like feeling defeated and at the whim of my partner. No matter if that is physically or psychologically.
Make of it what you will.