But you really got me thinknig about the situation and I wanted to SHAAAAARE. Awww, share.
I can see how there might indeed be a psychological link between being spanked or whatever as a child and sexual tendencies later in life, in at least one possible way. We tend to always build our world and our perceptions and our selves around what we know - what we see, the place we live and the people we are with, our firsthand experiences, etc. - and we do with that what we can. It affects our behavior, our beliefs, and our actions. When we're very young, our parents serve as perhaps the biggest role models and builders for the world we live in, and they way we come to think of the world and our selves. These big important people make rules, set meal and bed times, make us go to school, etc. They also act as judge and jury when we do something wrong, and decide on punishment. Maybe if they spank us, we do indeed feel submissive and controlled, and this is carried through into adulthood and the relationships we form outside family - including love and sex. Maybe if we felt humiliated by, resentful of, or just scared of the spankings or other physical acts our parents did to us when young - or maybe even not in cases as severe as humilation, but even just a case of a sense/memory of being dominated as children - we will seek somehow to resolve that through sex as adults - come to peace with submissiveness, and actually thereby somehow gain control over both our selves and our relationships *through* submissiveness. Being submissive was something we could not control as children; but as adults, we can, and can perhaps effectively use it to come to terms with ourselves, our childhoods, and power in general. Like the quote you brought up from 'Labyrinth' - let me rule you and I will be your slave - the person who submits can have great power of the dominant one. Submissiveness can be empowering. Sex is one place where that can really be realized, more so certainly than a child/parent situation, in which the parent is almost indisputably the one in total control. So maybe if people who were spanked etc. as a kid are able to turn this submissiveness to their advantage in sex, etc., it is actually therapeutic and not damaging to *either* person involved. It makes them feel they have control over submissiveness/dominance, instead of feeling entirely at its mercy as they probably did as children. As an adult, the fears of the past can be conquered with the same tools of dominance/submission, and personal peace and well-being can be reached. Much different from people who use so-called innocentce, helplessness, and submissiveness to manipulatively gain control over people who fall for it; who cling to pain as a very wrong means of control, victimhood, martyrdom, blah blah.
I have no clue if that made any sense or was just a lot of wanking. Eek, it seemed like an interesting idea.
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momijizukamori
I know I already posted
Date: 2002-03-15 04:26 pm (UTC)I can see how there might indeed be a psychological link between being spanked or whatever as a child and sexual tendencies later in life, in at least one possible way. We tend to always build our world and our perceptions and our selves around what we know - what we see, the place we live and the people we are with, our firsthand experiences, etc. - and we do with that what we can. It affects our behavior, our beliefs, and our actions. When we're very young, our parents serve as perhaps the biggest role models and builders for the world we live in, and they way we come to think of the world and our selves. These big important people make rules, set meal and bed times, make us go to school, etc. They also act as judge and jury when we do something wrong, and decide on punishment. Maybe if they spank us, we do indeed feel submissive and controlled, and this is carried through into adulthood and the relationships we form outside family - including love and sex. Maybe if we felt humiliated by, resentful of, or just scared of the spankings or other physical acts our parents did to us when young - or maybe even not in cases as severe as humilation, but even just a case of a sense/memory of being dominated as children - we will seek somehow to resolve that through sex as adults - come to peace with submissiveness, and actually thereby somehow gain control over both our selves and our relationships *through* submissiveness. Being submissive was something we could not control as children; but as adults, we can, and can perhaps effectively use it to come to terms with ourselves, our childhoods, and power in general. Like the quote you brought up from 'Labyrinth' - let me rule you and I will be your slave - the person who submits can have great power of the dominant one. Submissiveness can be empowering. Sex is one place where that can really be realized, more so certainly than a child/parent situation, in which the parent is almost indisputably the one in total control. So maybe if people who were spanked etc. as a kid are able to turn this submissiveness to their advantage in sex, etc., it is actually therapeutic and not damaging to *either* person involved. It makes them feel they have control over submissiveness/dominance, instead of feeling entirely at its mercy as they probably did as children. As an adult, the fears of the past can be conquered with the same tools of dominance/submission, and personal peace and well-being can be reached. Much different from people who use so-called innocentce, helplessness, and submissiveness to manipulatively gain control over people who fall for it; who cling to pain as a very wrong means of control, victimhood, martyrdom, blah blah.
I have no clue if that made any sense or was just a lot of wanking. Eek, it seemed like an interesting idea.