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blustockingI am suddenly, strangely, inexplicably....really fucking sad.
I think it started when, on my drive home, KROQ(shocking) played Depeche Mode's,
"I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She'll get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She'll hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me
Aaaahhhhh....
I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and
With every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear of
Those things
But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I'll get away with it
Aaaahhhhh...."
Not only is that a song that Ryan put on a tape he made for me, but it's really fucking sad. This is not good. I can't be sad and morose around people who will want to know why, because I can't tell them. Perhaps it will go away soon, but I doubt it. I'm sitting here, looking at the things around me, and wondering "what is the fucking point?" What is this all for? Things don't make me happy...okay, they do, but it's such a cheap high and I know I've written about this very thing before, but every so often it comes and slaps me in the face. I'm staring at a ticket home when I'd rather be staring down a highway leading away from everyone. The angst, like a bitch, is back.
I feel so ugly and disgusting.
The pictures will be up later.
I have to pack.
p.s. If I will be seeing you soon...please don't bring this up.
I think it started when, on my drive home, KROQ(shocking) played Depeche Mode's,
"I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She'll get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She'll hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me
Aaaahhhhh....
I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and
With every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear of
Those things
But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I'll get away with it
Aaaahhhhh...."
Not only is that a song that Ryan put on a tape he made for me, but it's really fucking sad. This is not good. I can't be sad and morose around people who will want to know why, because I can't tell them. Perhaps it will go away soon, but I doubt it. I'm sitting here, looking at the things around me, and wondering "what is the fucking point?" What is this all for? Things don't make me happy...okay, they do, but it's such a cheap high and I know I've written about this very thing before, but every so often it comes and slaps me in the face. I'm staring at a ticket home when I'd rather be staring down a highway leading away from everyone. The angst, like a bitch, is back.
I feel so ugly and disgusting.
The pictures will be up later.
I have to pack.
p.s. If I will be seeing you soon...please don't bring this up.
