shallow waters

Quite scattered. Up one minute, down the next, forced to cultivate rows of corn-colored confidence during a harvest season. I wish I had your cocaine confidence, bleeding arrogance. I do. I really do. I'm just shaken too easily.

I crave cheap offerings laid at my feet, empty calories. Like a drug I said, like a drug. It's never enough, never enough. Looking for a permanent reminder, I'll spend my whole life searching for the heaviest feather.
I don't understand how one can be so conflicted, so contradictory.

Looking for a cheap thrill, a quick fix, the junkie turns to a shadowed remembrance, a quiet corner to stick the needle in. No one must knoooooooow.

I do this to myself.
But at least I'm in control.
Don't let me fool you.



Happy October.

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(no subject)

Looking through my photos on Webshots, I forgot about this one.
The look on my face is due to the fact that I was crying. I was crying because this was the only animal we could take home from the pound. Charlie's a good dog. :} Yeah, we should have guessed by the size of those paws that he would get fairly big.

Awww, I miss Charlie-dog. :(

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(no subject)

2 more good songs from this month's CMJ (in addition to those listened to on my last 2 entries).

Jeff Trott "No Substitute"
Badar Ali Kahn "Black Night (DJ Baba G & Dan the Automator Remix)"