make a little birdhouse in your soul

[blustocking]

How lazy and/or incompetent do you have to be?

------------------

Jewelry Wand® makes fastening all your jewelry a snap!

Finally, a jewelry fastener that really works! The Jewelry Wand® is the only clasp fastener that actually pushes clasp levers back and holds jewelry clasps securely open while you hook the ends together.

It's the only jewelry fastener that is specially designed to make fastening lobster claw and spring ring clasps quick, easy, and even fun! Jewelry Wand's patented clip has a special pin that pushes the clasp lever back instead of your fingernail. Salon nails can chip and scratch when handling small metal parts, but not when using the Jewelry Wand. Plus, the tip of the Jewelry Wand is specially coated and will not scratch even the finest jewelry.

Your Jewelry Wand Includes: Bracelet Wand, Necklace Wand and Instructional Video.
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AOL Link

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"We are so confident that we offer a 30-day money back guarantee. If for any reason you are not completely satisfied, simply return the Jewelry Wand for a full refund less the shipping and handling."

-------------------

It's the only jewelry fastener that is specially designed to make fastening lobster claw and spring ring clasps quick, easy, and even fun!

"So, whatcha doin' this weekend, Bob?"
"Oh man, I have some sweet-ass necklaces to fasten...like 20 lobster claws and 35 spring rings."
"Bob, how did you get so lucky?"

***

Comments

[pinup-angel.livejournal.com]

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re:

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

heheh, I tried to pronounce that.

Roffle-mao!

Now I have weird visions of Chairman Mao gorging himself on Ruffles potato chips.

[masquerader.livejournal.com]

Ugh, boo..

Ye should have stopped while ye were ahead, man.

Re:

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

I had a few responses to this, but this just about sums it up:

:p

Lobster claws?

[buscemi.livejournal.com]

I'd rather have a lobster harmonica.

hoocha, hoocha, hoocha.....lobsta

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

I'd rather have a harmonious lobster.

"Sing, Clampy! SING!"

[lagnolalia.livejournal.com]

Hi.

Re:

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

HELLO AND GOOD DAY TO YOU.

[catwoman980.livejournal.com]

...

instructional video?

Re:

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

Exactly.

Gah! For the love of crap!

[motherevol.livejournal.com]

OH SWEET CORN AND RELISH!

I bet these stump lickin' retards are somehow related to the makers of Topsey Tail, Glitter Eyes and the Keebler Elf. This makes me want to pour salt into a major flesh wound.

Re: Gah! For the glove of crap!

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

Someone donated a Flowbee to the thrift store.

>_

ohh no.

[kitryne.livejournal.com]

my mother bought 3 topsey tails. my mother has had short hair for over 15 years. you disrespect my family by exposing our deep-seated shame, so you must perform a task for us. you must fasten these necklaces, and bejewell 47 christmas sweaters and grandma-hats. then you must give us all pretty nails.

GAHHHHHHH!

Re: ohh no.

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

"Grandpa! I LOVE your French manicure!"

yeah

[dead-kitty.livejournal.com]

Since I work with the elderly, I think I know who this add is aimed at: people with arthritis. Not you and me. Silly.