always against better judgement

[blustocking]

I'm extremely tired and in a foul, roller-coaster mood. One of those where the littlest things can PISS YOU THE FUCK OFF, extremely so. Like the fact that people call for the stinking agents here at work and they're never here and if I have to repeat "So and So is not here right now, would you like their cell number or voice mail" one more time. But it's not Medicare...it's not Medicare...I will keep my mantra close.

I feel like shit. But not the kind of shit where I expect, or want, sympathy (FUCK I HATE LAPTOPS). I feel like a jerk. Like a total jerk, who's remarkably inconsistent, yet whose inconsistencies make sense to myself. I feel like raging. Raging against the fucking idiots in the world AND THE GODDAMNED PHONE. GAAAAAWD I HATE THE RINGING. STATE YOUR BUSINESS WENCH.

I'm a horrible person and I sometimes wish men knew better than to love me. In fact, I don't want to deal with that, at all. NO ONE will live up to my standards, I'm judgmental, and I wouldn't let them in anyway.
Nyah.

I haven't been keeping track, but hopefully this is PMS combined with lack of sleep. Luckily, it usually only lasts one day and I'm going to go home and take a nap after work.

It's taking entirely too much effort to be nice to people today.
And seriously, it's Pavlovian, my response to the phone. It rings, I grind my teeth, curse, and flip the phone off....for ringing. Bit over the top, doncha think?

Comments

[rapier.livejournal.com]

No, not surprising. I do the same thing when my phone rings. A hateful cringing inside, a smoldering rage, a clenching of the fist, a gritting of the teeth. We're in the same place right there, man.

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

Why do we do this? Is it too much customer service experience? Let us sit in a circle and get down to the bottom of this!

That, or we can just continue to churn bile every time we hear ringing...actually, yes, let's do that.

[webwawa.livejournal.com]

ive been in a bad mood all week
everyone pissing me off
and i feel like a jerk too
but icant help it!!!!!!

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

Don't you wish you could walk around with a disclaimer attached sometimes?

p.s. I love your icon.

fuck work

[negative-slant.livejournal.com]

http://www.spunk.org/library/writers/black/sp000156.html

Re: fuck work

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

I am saving and treasuring this link for future reference. Maybe someday you'll see why. :D

[bloodsuckergirl.livejournal.com]

I love that song.

:)

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

Yessss...I assume you have the album? So good.

[masquerader.livejournal.com]

"I'm a horrible person and I sometimes wish men knew better than to love me. In fact, I don't want to deal with that, at all. NO ONE will live up to my standards, I'm judgmental, and I wouldn't let them in anyway."

What a load of crappy crap crap.

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

Sometimes, writing your initial, gut-reaction to how you feel, helps. But thanks, I think. ;}

I am in a weird state of mind though. One where a relationship, or dealing with the prospect of one, is the last thing I want to think about.