(no subject)
Jun. 30th, 2005 06:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
blustockingSTOP FUCKING RAINING SO THAT I CAN WALK HOME WITHOUT GETTING SOAKED. K thnx.
Please to be resuming the rain when I DO get home.
Saw The Rapist again today. We talked about you. No, not you....you.
I...don't know how I feel about it. It meaning therapy. Conflicted. Apparently my logic is flawed. My pride in my ability to handle nearly any hurt, flawed. Putting myself in these situations to see what I can handle, skewed. I'm not sure about any of it, except that a part of me, a big part, doesn't want to stop. It's my way of maintaining control....which is apparently a sign of "trauma". I have a hard time believing my stunted coping mechanisms are not the result of some momentously horrendous event, but a monster more of the flesh and blood variety.
I'm just a bundle of crap right now....and oh so skilled with....the...word-type things.
He seems to think I should have been more forceful when that flesh and blood called me recently, more to the point of "Leave me the fuck alone and if you contact me again, I will call the cops." I suppose that's true, but I was taken aback, and frankly, poised for illness. He may be right, but doing that now would mean contacting the fucker and I cannot stand to hear his voice. I suppose this requires more thought.
Dodgeball tonight. Go Ron Wilsons!
Painting painting and more painting but not enough.
Please to be resuming the rain when I DO get home.
Saw The Rapist again today. We talked about you. No, not you....you.
I...don't know how I feel about it. It meaning therapy. Conflicted. Apparently my logic is flawed. My pride in my ability to handle nearly any hurt, flawed. Putting myself in these situations to see what I can handle, skewed. I'm not sure about any of it, except that a part of me, a big part, doesn't want to stop. It's my way of maintaining control....which is apparently a sign of "trauma". I have a hard time believing my stunted coping mechanisms are not the result of some momentously horrendous event, but a monster more of the flesh and blood variety.
I'm just a bundle of crap right now....and oh so skilled with....the...word-type things.
He seems to think I should have been more forceful when that flesh and blood called me recently, more to the point of "Leave me the fuck alone and if you contact me again, I will call the cops." I suppose that's true, but I was taken aback, and frankly, poised for illness. He may be right, but doing that now would mean contacting the fucker and I cannot stand to hear his voice. I suppose this requires more thought.
Dodgeball tonight. Go Ron Wilsons!
Painting painting and more painting but not enough.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-07-01 04:28 am (UTC)Cocksucker! I'd (pretty much) been kidding about previous knee-capping offers, but there seems to be a serious need here. I'll even let you have first whack.
Everybody's weak sometimes. Doesn't make it your fault.
Can you tell if a photo on the internet has been enhanced just by looking at it? I was sent a photo by a friend, and am having difficulty believing this person is as flawless as the photo appears.
Hope things get better for you soon. Missing you on the other site...
no subject
Date: 2005-07-07 11:19 pm (UTC)And thank you. :}
I'd blog right now, but I can't seem to login.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-01 10:11 pm (UTC)well poop coockies..
Do you think that the rapist actually on to something or is he out to lunch? Sounds like bullshit to me.
-I was recently told that my hability to put up with shit and actually give a crap is a sign of weakness! Joy!
no subject
Date: 2005-07-07 11:18 pm (UTC)For the first time in my life I feel like I actually need drugs.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-08 01:14 am (UTC)I mean some people really do need them and it simply is a means for a better life but generally speaking I think that they are over prescribed.
Obviously only you know if this is what you need.
I've been through lots of shit and nothing ever brought be down and helped me put things in perspective than turning my frustrations into something creative, a little jazz and an occasional big fat blunt.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-25 02:10 am (UTC)But then you have douchebags who actually NEED them and don't take them or think they don't need them. I maybe be one of those, I haven't decided.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-25 02:38 am (UTC)I "dated" a girl in college that just became zommbie-ish when taking her Rx.
Depends on ze pills 'course..
no subject
Date: 2005-07-02 05:54 am (UTC)So there. Nyah.
You're all cute and stuff when you get all artsy fartsy. :P
no subject
Date: 2005-07-07 11:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-07 11:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-08 01:16 am (UTC)OMFGWTFBBQ YOU'RE ALL OVER THE INTERNET
no subject
Date: 2005-08-25 02:08 am (UTC)Not to toot my own horn, but I've written a few books too.