haha, you're a victim right?! that's why you're here, right?!

[blustocking]

I should not be getting up at 6am, I should be going to bed at 6am. Morning, you are the biggest bitch of them all.

I work both jobs today.
Here's hoping I don't kill.

And just in case you forgot....group blows.
Boys, work on developing your built-in Bullshit Detector.

p.s. Super-pissed and sad that I cannot go to Con. Well, not really that I'll miss Con, but more that I'll miss the people I would get to see. Fuck, now I have to change my mood icon. Damn me being "responsible". :( Have fun schmoos...get me some free stuff if you can. :}

*

Comments

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

Nice! Why are you nervous?

Heheh...my friend Dennis left to move back to Wisconsin (close to Chicago) this morning. :(

All of my friends are jumping ship...can't say I really blame them.

[motherevol.livejournal.com]

I am nervous because I came down here to better myself and that honestly hasn't happened. School has been a constant series of eff-ups and the gym membership that has been promised to me has been a year in waiting. (Hence the reason why my ass has its own zip code again).

I know it sounds strange, but I kind of feel like I am going to be fed to the lions. My friends are strong, solid, and successful and I feel like a failure, going back with my tail between my legs, to tell the truth. I am happy I am going to see everybody, but then I know I will feel sad and envious of a lifestyle I couldn't salvage or preserve for myself. Chicago is very bittersweet with me.

DISCLAIMER: I am also heavily laced with PMS right now and I know it has its idle hand in MAGNIFYING these thoughts. These insecurities are there, but they are also being pronounced at the moment. At least I know why I want to cry over everything...

Hey...

[buscemi.livejournal.com]

...it's not as if I really know what I'm doing with my life.

[catnamedcosette.livejournal.com]

This is precisely why I felt like I had to get away from L.A. Everyone from back home seemed to know what they were doing and were making such strides in their lives while I just sat around and watched my life slip by. I felt like something was missing, like I should be doing more.

Re:

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

Aye, I can see all of that. My situation is different as when I go home, I could be working at McDonald's and as long as it's in L.A., I'm automatically "cooler" than they are. :o

But if I were to move home and then came out to visit my L.A. friends, yeah, I could see that.

However, I am working on truly not caring what anyone thinks. I often do/don't do things because of this. Moving home would be a step in the right direction because the only thing really holding me back, besides missing my cool job and friends, is "what people will think". Fuck 'em. Gotta do what's best for you. You're working on it and if they can't see/understand that, then fuck 'em.

;

[catnamedcosette.livejournal.com]

maybe that means you should move back to the midwest too! (hint, hint) :)

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

heh...still thinking. Wouldn't be until next year now. :(