zut alors!
Aug. 15th, 2002 02:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
blustockingOh look! 3/4 of the links to the left are now in French as well. Slowly, Livejournal....baby steps.
This is going to be completely random...in fact, I'm going to go write this in Word so I don't have to listen for footsteps and minimize every time someone walks by. So yes, combination of everything I've thought for the past few days.
--If some people weren't so attractive, they wouldn't get away with half as much as they do. I'm not sure if it is subconscious or if they know what they're doing. Either way, I have no time for it and I've been happier with this realization. Some people will always need handouts. Some people will always take a handout. Some people have no pride, no self-esteem and overcompensate by false arrogance. Some people are givers, some are takers, and some know how to balance the two. Every so often, I find a true "taker" and after many months of giving them the benefit of the doubt, it can be denied no longer and I have to be honest with myself, not rely on them, and quite possibly cut them out of my life. I don't know if this is the case in this instance, though think I do.
I can only go on what you give me, what I see. Actions baby, they have a loud, boisterous voice. Words can be quiet, soothing, deceptive. If you think you are being cheated, deceived, or lied to...look, don't listen.
--I went to AA yesterday morning at 7am, an ungodly hour. It was actually okay. There were only about 8 people there, 6 of them smokers (haha, it's true. get rid of one addiction, substitute it). They were nice. They didn't try and make me say I'm an alcoholic. They didn't shove God down my throat. They gave me a blue marble. Yes, a blue marble. Apparently a tradition in A division, they give you a blue marble as a first-timer and tell you if you end up ordering a drink, drop the marble in the bottom. When the marble melts, you can take a drink. Har, har, clever, eh? Anyway, I'll probably go tomorrow or Saturday as well. Incidentally, I haven't had a drink in over a month now and it doesn't bother me at all. In fact, I've never thought about wanting a drink more than when I was in that AA meeting. Nice, eh? It's good to know that I can stop when I have to. This requires no congratulations, as it wasn't hard. I'm not saying that to be arrogant, though it may sound that way. I'm sure I'm addicted to something else....something seedy and hidden that will surface later. ;) I plan on sending all of my AA stuff to my Father, which will piss him off, but I don't care...because he loves me and I love him. I am lucky.
--I was very late today. Someone was right, I should have gone to bed earlier. I should also stop being so stupid and/or stubborn. Je suis fou. I wish I could tell it's Crazy PMS Day before the day starts, not after. Luckily, it generally lasts only one day.
--I miss school. I miss writing. I finished The Left Hand of Darkness which was very good. I am now almost done with Nickel and Dimed(which I plan on sending to my parents when I'm done) and I'm about 1/3 done with Stupid White Men. I am also reading the new Discover magazine about the upcoming mini Ice Age and I purchased The State of the World 2002 finally. I also bought The Little Prince in French quite a while ago, the first trade of The Preacher, and a book of erotic travel stories. Odd, I know. I want more time to read. Too often, I'm too tired to even pull out my book on the bus. I was going to go and buy the comics I have been missing, but I should save my money.
--I am not going to Vegas this weekend. Though I would love to just go and support the band, I can't be irresponsible right now and the unplanned nature of the trip only added to my stress. When I started thinking of having three whole days off, to myself (mostly, as I'm still doing community service and going to the hospital on Sunday) I was elated. I hope I don't waste this. At least I can finally do laundry.
--![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
locopuff gave me the most bitchin' present. It's a wooden bar sign that says "The Pirate's Pub". It has a carved out pirate's face in the center and under that it says, "Strong Ale and Fine Food". Arrrr. I can't believe how cool it is. Thank you, you sessy locopuff!
--I can't ride the bus without thinking dirty thoughts. There are entirely too many poles, straps, and strangers on it for my own good.
--After group on Tuesday, I decided to walk to the Virgin Megastore, as the bus comes 45 minutes after I get out of group. I lost my Jack Johnson CD (which is odd, as I don't lose CD's) so I was going to buy a new one. I am slightly ahead of my expenses, so I allowed myself this. I also bought The Vines (on sale $7) and this. All 3 were on sale. I figured since I'm not spending money on Vegas, I'll spend a 1/3 of what I would have spent on music, always a fine choice. I wasn't too fond of the only song from the Vines that I've heard, but it was $7 and I listened to a few songs in the store. And actually, it's pretty damn good.
Yeah....I think that's it for now.
I can't stop thinking about someone.
p.s. I just looked in my bag for my Ziggy Stardust CD set and it's gone. I think I lost it on the way to work. It must have fallen out when I pulled my wallet out to get money from the ATM.
Fuck. The roller coaster has not come to a complete stop...now I am fucking sad and pissed off.
Dammit, I'm with her.
***
This is going to be completely random...in fact, I'm going to go write this in Word so I don't have to listen for footsteps and minimize every time someone walks by. So yes, combination of everything I've thought for the past few days.
--If some people weren't so attractive, they wouldn't get away with half as much as they do. I'm not sure if it is subconscious or if they know what they're doing. Either way, I have no time for it and I've been happier with this realization. Some people will always need handouts. Some people will always take a handout. Some people have no pride, no self-esteem and overcompensate by false arrogance. Some people are givers, some are takers, and some know how to balance the two. Every so often, I find a true "taker" and after many months of giving them the benefit of the doubt, it can be denied no longer and I have to be honest with myself, not rely on them, and quite possibly cut them out of my life. I don't know if this is the case in this instance, though think I do.
I can only go on what you give me, what I see. Actions baby, they have a loud, boisterous voice. Words can be quiet, soothing, deceptive. If you think you are being cheated, deceived, or lied to...look, don't listen.
--I went to AA yesterday morning at 7am, an ungodly hour. It was actually okay. There were only about 8 people there, 6 of them smokers (haha, it's true. get rid of one addiction, substitute it). They were nice. They didn't try and make me say I'm an alcoholic. They didn't shove God down my throat. They gave me a blue marble. Yes, a blue marble. Apparently a tradition in A division, they give you a blue marble as a first-timer and tell you if you end up ordering a drink, drop the marble in the bottom. When the marble melts, you can take a drink. Har, har, clever, eh? Anyway, I'll probably go tomorrow or Saturday as well. Incidentally, I haven't had a drink in over a month now and it doesn't bother me at all. In fact, I've never thought about wanting a drink more than when I was in that AA meeting. Nice, eh? It's good to know that I can stop when I have to. This requires no congratulations, as it wasn't hard. I'm not saying that to be arrogant, though it may sound that way. I'm sure I'm addicted to something else....something seedy and hidden that will surface later. ;) I plan on sending all of my AA stuff to my Father, which will piss him off, but I don't care...because he loves me and I love him. I am lucky.
--I was very late today. Someone was right, I should have gone to bed earlier. I should also stop being so stupid and/or stubborn. Je suis fou. I wish I could tell it's Crazy PMS Day before the day starts, not after. Luckily, it generally lasts only one day.
--I miss school. I miss writing. I finished The Left Hand of Darkness which was very good. I am now almost done with Nickel and Dimed(which I plan on sending to my parents when I'm done) and I'm about 1/3 done with Stupid White Men. I am also reading the new Discover magazine about the upcoming mini Ice Age and I purchased The State of the World 2002 finally. I also bought The Little Prince in French quite a while ago, the first trade of The Preacher, and a book of erotic travel stories. Odd, I know. I want more time to read. Too often, I'm too tired to even pull out my book on the bus. I was going to go and buy the comics I have been missing, but I should save my money.
--I am not going to Vegas this weekend. Though I would love to just go and support the band, I can't be irresponsible right now and the unplanned nature of the trip only added to my stress. When I started thinking of having three whole days off, to myself (mostly, as I'm still doing community service and going to the hospital on Sunday) I was elated. I hope I don't waste this. At least I can finally do laundry.
--
locopuff gave me the most bitchin' present. It's a wooden bar sign that says "The Pirate's Pub". It has a carved out pirate's face in the center and under that it says, "Strong Ale and Fine Food". Arrrr. I can't believe how cool it is. Thank you, you sessy locopuff!--I can't ride the bus without thinking dirty thoughts. There are entirely too many poles, straps, and strangers on it for my own good.
--After group on Tuesday, I decided to walk to the Virgin Megastore, as the bus comes 45 minutes after I get out of group. I lost my Jack Johnson CD (which is odd, as I don't lose CD's) so I was going to buy a new one. I am slightly ahead of my expenses, so I allowed myself this. I also bought The Vines (on sale $7) and this. All 3 were on sale. I figured since I'm not spending money on Vegas, I'll spend a 1/3 of what I would have spent on music, always a fine choice. I wasn't too fond of the only song from the Vines that I've heard, but it was $7 and I listened to a few songs in the store. And actually, it's pretty damn good.
Yeah....I think that's it for now.
I can't stop thinking about someone.
p.s. I just looked in my bag for my Ziggy Stardust CD set and it's gone. I think I lost it on the way to work. It must have fallen out when I pulled my wallet out to get money from the ATM.
Fuck. The roller coaster has not come to a complete stop...now I am fucking sad and pissed off.
Dammit, I'm with her.
***
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Date: 2002-08-15 06:47 pm (UTC):D