My hair is in pigtails and it's fucking cute.

[blustocking]

For all of you who answered the previous spanking question, thank you. :)

The theory, which is pretty simple and should hold true, but looks like it might not, is that spanking as a child creates a desire to be submissive in life, nay, sex. I can only speak for myself, so I will.

I was spanked, not much...more of threatened, but I was occasionally spanked. In fact, my parents had one of those wooden paint-stirring sticks, the one you use to stir house paint. They had drilled a hole in the end and tied a little lanyard on the end so that they could hang it on the fridge. On one side, my Mother wrote "Jill's Warm Side" and on the other "Jill's Hot Side", and I SWEAR I could tell the difference. I would hide that damn thing all OVER the house, but they'd always either find it, or just make another one. I think I only, vaguely, remember getting spanked once or twice, though I'm sure it was more, with it. The only really vivid spanking I remember is when I picked up my mother's birdbath and just dropped it. I think I was testing gravity,(children are really just little scientists) for there was NO other reason. She ran over pulled down my pants and smacked my ass before I even had a chance to think.

Here's the thing though. I absolutely adore my parents, they can do no wrong. All of the spanking was justified and it served to show me who was in charge. Of course, later, I just learned to be more creative to get what I want, but I damn well respected my parents and, essentially, I was a good kid. I'll have to ask my sister if she was spanked in that way though, because she was quite the little rebel (I just hid mine well). She, I know, was slapped in the face by my mother once, and I wasn't. That, is entirely different than getting a little paddle on the bottom.

Anyway, here's the meat. I've found that people are generally opposite of what they appear to be in day-to-day life. I'm pretty strong-willed, opinionated, and such, but I'm a submissive when it comes to sex. Now, I've been dominant and can and have played the role, but in the truest of true, I'm a sub. I've always had a fascination with cruel love. Perhaps this explains why Labyrinth is my favorite movie? That line that Bowie speaks towards the end, and I'm misquoting most likely, "Just love me, let me rule you, do as I say, and I will be your slave". It is contradictory and seemingly doesn't make sense, but it does. I want the push and pull and I want to lose to someone who adores me.

So, is it true, that assertion of power when you were young, did it make you crave it in adulthood? Or is it more simple than that, and did it just make you have a thing for spankings? I've never been one to enjoy being spanked, only occasionally and when absolutely appropriate, but it doesn't really get me off. It seems silly most of the time. I enjoy more subtle shows of dominance.

The woman I've had a crush on the longest is a dominant. She's strong and she's a bitch. She's the one all others were compared to. She made me search for a replacement, since she hates me but in the end, she's disappointed me. I found a girl like her once, but she ended up being quite submissive and I couldn't take the lead, not with her.

So tell me, for you, what do you think being spanked, or not being spanked did to you as an adult? For me, I wouldn't change a thing, and in theory, I think it defines the balance of power for children, but that's theory and I would probably have a hard time doing it to my own kids. My parents had a good system, of fairness and justification. But you also have to take into account that I was a stubborn little kid, just like my Dad. Being spanked didn't really faze me, but it made me have respect for my parents and acknowledge who was in control. The psychological effects were beneficial. I think it depends on the child and that's so hard to judge. But it also depends on the parents. They have to be fair and able to judge when it's really necessary and how firm to be depending on the situation.

Thoughts?

Comments

[qat.livejournal.com]

Wow, I don't know. I always resented acts of control over me a lot, spankings and yelling, but when it comes to sex in true love, I don't really do dom or sub in the classic sense, I don't think.... I like switching places, I like both, I like either/or or neither/nor. I see the appeal of both and neither, and I've done it all in that respect. I've tied and been tied and it can be very cool both ways.... The only real relationship I had with a woman was very clear-cut role-playing and I hated it. For her it had to be dominant or submissive, *really* - all the stuff that can go with it, and I consented because I thought maybe it would be cool, who knew. With her it was fucked up, she liked to be submissive and play the victim.... to get control over me, in the end. Not only in sex but in all other aspects of life and relationships - this was her weapon: guilt, submission, pain and dominance through victimhood. It was FUCKED. I skedaddled. I know role-playing, real dominance and submission can be very exciting, and I've been in situations where it was, but I tend to associate dom/sub with her sometimes.... at least as far as its dangers go.

Then again I was rarely spanked or hit at all as a kid, so maybe I don't have any real perception of it associated with this.... Um, I like sex, I like love, a lot, and I'll leave it at that :) IT RULES!

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

Yes, that was what it was like with James. It was a true fetish and he NEEDED it to get off. But you know, sometimes, just plain' ol' sex is the best. But no, it had to be him Dom all the time, me sub. No real sex was had, just oral, once. It was fun for awhile, but I don't think I could do that all the time, be a live-in slave. I've toyed with it, but I need to assert too much control. I need variety.