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blustockingFor all of you who answered the previous spanking question, thank you. :)
The theory, which is pretty simple and should hold true, but looks like it might not, is that spanking as a child creates a desire to be submissive in life, nay, sex. I can only speak for myself, so I will.
I was spanked, not much...more of threatened, but I was occasionally spanked. In fact, my parents had one of those wooden paint-stirring sticks, the one you use to stir house paint. They had drilled a hole in the end and tied a little lanyard on the end so that they could hang it on the fridge. On one side, my Mother wrote "Jill's Warm Side" and on the other "Jill's Hot Side", and I SWEAR I could tell the difference. I would hide that damn thing all OVER the house, but they'd always either find it, or just make another one. I think I only, vaguely, remember getting spanked once or twice, though I'm sure it was more, with it. The only really vivid spanking I remember is when I picked up my mother's birdbath and just dropped it. I think I was testing gravity,(children are really just little scientists) for there was NO other reason. She ran over pulled down my pants and smacked my ass before I even had a chance to think.
Here's the thing though. I absolutely adore my parents, they can do no wrong. All of the spanking was justified and it served to show me who was in charge. Of course, later, I just learned to be more creative to get what I want, but I damn well respected my parents and, essentially, I was a good kid. I'll have to ask my sister if she was spanked in that way though, because she was quite the little rebel (I just hid mine well). She, I know, was slapped in the face by my mother once, and I wasn't. That, is entirely different than getting a little paddle on the bottom.
Anyway, here's the meat. I've found that people are generally opposite of what they appear to be in day-to-day life. I'm pretty strong-willed, opinionated, and such, but I'm a submissive when it comes to sex. Now, I've been dominant and can and have played the role, but in the truest of true, I'm a sub. I've always had a fascination with cruel love. Perhaps this explains why Labyrinth is my favorite movie? That line that Bowie speaks towards the end, and I'm misquoting most likely, "Just love me, let me rule you, do as I say, and I will be your slave". It is contradictory and seemingly doesn't make sense, but it does. I want the push and pull and I want to lose to someone who adores me.
So, is it true, that assertion of power when you were young, did it make you crave it in adulthood? Or is it more simple than that, and did it just make you have a thing for spankings? I've never been one to enjoy being spanked, only occasionally and when absolutely appropriate, but it doesn't really get me off. It seems silly most of the time. I enjoy more subtle shows of dominance.
The woman I've had a crush on the longest is a dominant. She's strong and she's a bitch. She's the one all others were compared to. She made me search for a replacement, since she hates me but in the end, she's disappointed me. I found a girl like her once, but she ended up being quite submissive and I couldn't take the lead, not with her.
So tell me, for you, what do you think being spanked, or not being spanked did to you as an adult? For me, I wouldn't change a thing, and in theory, I think it defines the balance of power for children, but that's theory and I would probably have a hard time doing it to my own kids. My parents had a good system, of fairness and justification. But you also have to take into account that I was a stubborn little kid, just like my Dad. Being spanked didn't really faze me, but it made me have respect for my parents and acknowledge who was in control. The psychological effects were beneficial. I think it depends on the child and that's so hard to judge. But it also depends on the parents. They have to be fair and able to judge when it's really necessary and how firm to be depending on the situation.
Thoughts?
The theory, which is pretty simple and should hold true, but looks like it might not, is that spanking as a child creates a desire to be submissive in life, nay, sex. I can only speak for myself, so I will.
I was spanked, not much...more of threatened, but I was occasionally spanked. In fact, my parents had one of those wooden paint-stirring sticks, the one you use to stir house paint. They had drilled a hole in the end and tied a little lanyard on the end so that they could hang it on the fridge. On one side, my Mother wrote "Jill's Warm Side" and on the other "Jill's Hot Side", and I SWEAR I could tell the difference. I would hide that damn thing all OVER the house, but they'd always either find it, or just make another one. I think I only, vaguely, remember getting spanked once or twice, though I'm sure it was more, with it. The only really vivid spanking I remember is when I picked up my mother's birdbath and just dropped it. I think I was testing gravity,(children are really just little scientists) for there was NO other reason. She ran over pulled down my pants and smacked my ass before I even had a chance to think.
Here's the thing though. I absolutely adore my parents, they can do no wrong. All of the spanking was justified and it served to show me who was in charge. Of course, later, I just learned to be more creative to get what I want, but I damn well respected my parents and, essentially, I was a good kid. I'll have to ask my sister if she was spanked in that way though, because she was quite the little rebel (I just hid mine well). She, I know, was slapped in the face by my mother once, and I wasn't. That, is entirely different than getting a little paddle on the bottom.
Anyway, here's the meat. I've found that people are generally opposite of what they appear to be in day-to-day life. I'm pretty strong-willed, opinionated, and such, but I'm a submissive when it comes to sex. Now, I've been dominant and can and have played the role, but in the truest of true, I'm a sub. I've always had a fascination with cruel love. Perhaps this explains why Labyrinth is my favorite movie? That line that Bowie speaks towards the end, and I'm misquoting most likely, "Just love me, let me rule you, do as I say, and I will be your slave". It is contradictory and seemingly doesn't make sense, but it does. I want the push and pull and I want to lose to someone who adores me.
So, is it true, that assertion of power when you were young, did it make you crave it in adulthood? Or is it more simple than that, and did it just make you have a thing for spankings? I've never been one to enjoy being spanked, only occasionally and when absolutely appropriate, but it doesn't really get me off. It seems silly most of the time. I enjoy more subtle shows of dominance.
The woman I've had a crush on the longest is a dominant. She's strong and she's a bitch. She's the one all others were compared to. She made me search for a replacement, since she hates me but in the end, she's disappointed me. I found a girl like her once, but she ended up being quite submissive and I couldn't take the lead, not with her.
So tell me, for you, what do you think being spanked, or not being spanked did to you as an adult? For me, I wouldn't change a thing, and in theory, I think it defines the balance of power for children, but that's theory and I would probably have a hard time doing it to my own kids. My parents had a good system, of fairness and justification. But you also have to take into account that I was a stubborn little kid, just like my Dad. Being spanked didn't really faze me, but it made me have respect for my parents and acknowledge who was in control. The psychological effects were beneficial. I think it depends on the child and that's so hard to judge. But it also depends on the parents. They have to be fair and able to judge when it's really necessary and how firm to be depending on the situation.
Thoughts?
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no subject
Date: 2002-03-15 04:12 pm (UTC)No, no I realize it has much more to it than that. It was just an interesting link I was toying with. I think, personally, it did shape who I am today, but it wasn't the only factor.
I actually got the idea when I saw one of my co-workers training their new puppy. She would hold the puppy on her lap (a pretty big puppy) only it had to sit on it's back as she stroked it's tummy. She said it asserted dominance. And though I realize we're not all of puppy mind and there are many other contributing factors, it was an interesting thought. We take in much more as children than we realize, more than we'll ever know even.
But you're right, because I have the traits of my Father and Mother, perhaps some of it is inherent, but it was certainly cultivated at an early age.
This is going to be odd, but there was some stupid 80's cop show, I actually think it was Miami Vice, where a "villain" was walking around in a warehouse. He had this row of gold, female mannequins tied up. They were held up by their hands an posed in such a way that they were definitely sexualized. He walked by a few of them, kissed their stomachs, walked back away from them, and shot each one to pieces, as if in target practice. THAT, stuck with me. It hit a chord. That control and helplessness, the "love", and the demise. So yeah, something had to have been in my brain before then to have that affect me in such a way. There was also some made for teevee movie set in the 1800's where this guy kidnapped a woman he loved and took her away on a ship. I remember her being tied up to the mast as he professed his love, I think she had loved him once as well, can't remember. Anyway, that stuck with me as well.
But I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea. This isn't what I'm ALL about. This is just something that fascinates me. In theory, not ALWAYS in practice. Like I said, I can play both roles and like Kat, often enjoy the push/pull rather than a clearly defined sub/dom relationship.
Though, it's never very clear. Subs can actually BE the dominant and vice versa. It's all subtle and complex, I enjoy that.
I see your point as well. :)