blustocking: (camera)
blustocking ([personal profile] blustocking) wrote2002-09-08 10:34 pm

(no subject)

I was so creative, so open when I was younger...16/17/18. I feel like a wilted, dying flower closing in on itself. Does this happen to everyone? Do you notice your creativity fading? Is it the influx of life-sucking responsibility? I feel like I've lost so much, time, talent, skill, drive, creativity, inspiration...I was fearless once. I had dreams once. I had so much faith.

[identity profile] buscemi.livejournal.com 2002-09-08 11:57 pm (UTC)(link)
When I was in h.s. I definitely had more enthusiasm than ability when it came to writing. Eventually, it swung the other way to where I quit writing completely. I hope that never happens with music. *shudder*

I guess the key to being creative is not being afraid of having ideas that don't work. It got to the point where I kept rejecting ideas before I even put them down on the page. After a while, I just stopped caring.

"Don't let this happen to you!"

end PSA.

[identity profile] iamwells.livejournal.com 2002-09-08 11:57 pm (UTC)(link)
That happens often.

Think of the times that you were most creative, then recreate similar circumstances. How late could you staty out back then? What bars could you go to, if any? Did you see your friends as often?

Things are generally lousy for you right now, but I think that creativity is one thing that you can have if you choose to take it. Mattuh-o-fakt, your limiting circumstances may even bolster it.

I was a little throw by your listing of "talent" and "skill." Do you really think you've lost so much of it, or is it just that you haven't had a recent opportunity to prove that it's still there?

Re:

[identity profile] blustocking.livejournal.com 2002-09-11 11:26 am (UTC)(link)
Well, I didn't have to worry about rent or bills, I had a set schedule and plenty of free time so...I guess the responsibilites of adult life take more than I thought. I just need more effing time. A few more months of this b.s.

I guess I put talent and skill in there because not only do I not have the time to see if I still have it, but I don't have the time to perfect it or use it.

[identity profile] buscemi.livejournal.com 2002-09-09 12:03 am (UTC)(link)
You could also look at creativity as stealing your soul back. A great big "fuck you" to the craptacular parts of your life, as it were.
(deleted comment)

Re:

[identity profile] blustocking.livejournal.com 2002-09-11 11:24 am (UTC)(link)
I'm just looking at all of these younger people on Livejournal and they seem to have a freedom of expression that I lost. They don't censor themselves and I wonder when, or why, I started to.