stays up late, does nothing

[blustocking]

And now, for the mundane....
I think I'm getting sick, but I keep drinking the bourbon anyway. I can't pay my rent, at least not until next week. Don't want to go to school, feel surrounded by people who are jazzed about making art and I want a fucking normal life, a normal wife. Just for a little while, to get me back in the Mooooood.

Went to the studio tonight, at around 10pm. Just to get my body used to traveling in that direction, hoping it will stick. I did nothing. I stared. I ran my hand over the scarred skin of My Big Demon and wondered what the hell is wrong with me. I sat. I started thinking too much, realized I'd stopped moving and that was my problem. So I left. Came home. Made something small to eat, since I'd barely eaten today. Made a drink, watched some TV and tried my best not to think.

Comments

[hearteststill.livejournal.com]

I totally feel that creative funk and want of a normal life.
I want to be jazzed about making art.

i heart you, jill. just so you know.

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

It's a whole new year, right? We shouldn't give up hope. :}

Thank you. I hearts you too.

[hearteststill.livejournal.com]

it is a whole new year!

never give up, or something..

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

http://www.jsayers.com/tshirts/stupid%20shirt.gif