stays up late, does nothing

[blustocking]

And now, for the mundane....
I think I'm getting sick, but I keep drinking the bourbon anyway. I can't pay my rent, at least not until next week. Don't want to go to school, feel surrounded by people who are jazzed about making art and I want a fucking normal life, a normal wife. Just for a little while, to get me back in the Mooooood.

Went to the studio tonight, at around 10pm. Just to get my body used to traveling in that direction, hoping it will stick. I did nothing. I stared. I ran my hand over the scarred skin of My Big Demon and wondered what the hell is wrong with me. I sat. I started thinking too much, realized I'd stopped moving and that was my problem. So I left. Came home. Made something small to eat, since I'd barely eaten today. Made a drink, watched some TV and tried my best not to think.

Comments

[hearteststill.livejournal.com]

I totally feel that creative funk and want of a normal life.
I want to be jazzed about making art.

i heart you, jill. just so you know.

[i-muad-dib.livejournal.com]

This happened to me often when in school.
You need freedom to do your thing in your own time.
Dunno about you but my best work was never asked of me. I just did it when I felt like it.

You either need a serious break or to just go through the paces with the least possible effort involved. I did that for a full year and my work sucked but at least I did not feel like I was being sucked to the marrow.