but then my parents were unecessarily rough when I was a teenager....so it depends on what you're talking about.
sometimes, in my opinion, you can't reason with a very small child...and they may be in the middle of doing things that could hurt them. A quick, controlled, unemotional pop on the BUTT (NO where else) will get their attention. If a parent spanks in anger, they shouldn't be spanking. It may it'll happen once or twice, because parents are human...but if you can't spank a child in a calm, controlled manner...and you're just doing it to release stress or anger...you need to relinguish spanking duties to the other parent (which I may have to do), or find a different way to get kids attention. It shouldn't be to hurt a child...it should be like when you bop a puppy or a cat...it's the noise, and the surprise that you did something like that that should get their attention...not the pain.
I'm all about time-outs.
my mother HATED spanking. We always got time outs when we were really little. when my brother was little, he wouldn't stay in his room. (I always just sat in there and played when I had a time out...but that boy is a rebel) He's come out, and wander right into mom...like he was proud that he disobeyed her. She used to have to hold the door closed until she could hear that he'd calmed down. ^_^ she'd be standing there, heels dug in, clasping the door knob saying "brandon, go sit down! you'll get out once you calm down for a little while!" while he pulled and yelled on the other side. Eventually he'd calm down, come out, and act as though nothing had happened.
disciplining a kid takes a lot of time, effort, and patience. If anyone is looking for a quick and easy way to get kids to do what they say...they shouldn't be parents.
My parents apparently spanked me when I was really little, lightly to let me know I did something wrong, and once my mom caught herself slamming my body against the wall repeatedly as she yelled at me to be good and I stared at her stony-faced. She filed for divorce from my dad about a week later, as she figured she was cracking; I was two. When I was six my dad spanked me for doing something bad, and then he cried and promised to never do it again and apologized over and over. My mom slapped me some when I was mouthy, from ages 7-12; I never was hit after that age except by a boyfriend :) I would not say either of my parents were big on spanking. Yelling, yes, and the few times I was spanked or slapped I thought were easier than the many many times I was screamed at. But maybe I'd feel differently if it were vice versa.
Hi, Blu...rueyeet here. It was an interesting topic, so I sully your LiveJournal with my ramblings.
My dad is first-generation Italian, but somehow it was always all-American Mom who threatened to get out Grandma's wooden spoon. She never used it on me, because my sister had warned me that these were no idle threats.
Spanking in our household was a highly ritualized affair. After Dad got home, Mom would tell him whatever either of us did, then Dad would lecture the offender at length, and after standing there for the eternity of anticipation, we'd be called forward for the actual spanking. By then, a couple of light slaps was enough to get the message across. It was always used as a punishment of last resort, and never in anger or the heat of the moment. As you can tell, my parents went for the psychological approach over the physical.
*wanders onto Blu's journal* Yep. I was spanked too. With belts and switches cut from trees. It was probably neccessary when I was too young to understand "no" and I appreciate that my dad was always calm when he did it, but it was humiliating when he said "This is the only way we can make you understand."
no subject
Date: 2002-03-14 11:09 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:hmmm
Date: 2002-03-14 11:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-03-14 11:32 pm (UTC)why you ask?
Date: 2002-03-15 01:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-03-15 02:02 am (UTC)Spanked?
Date: 2002-03-15 05:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-03-15 05:57 am (UTC)but then my parents were unecessarily rough when I was a teenager....so it depends on what you're talking about.
sometimes, in my opinion, you can't reason with a very small child...and they may be in the middle of doing things that could hurt them. A quick, controlled, unemotional pop on the BUTT (NO where else) will get their attention. If a parent spanks in anger, they shouldn't be spanking. It may it'll happen once or twice, because parents are human...but if you can't spank a child in a calm, controlled manner...and you're just doing it to release stress or anger...you need to relinguish spanking duties to the other parent (which I may have to do), or find a different way to get kids attention. It shouldn't be to hurt a child...it should be like when you bop a puppy or a cat...it's the noise, and the surprise that you did something like that that should get their attention...not the pain.
I'm all about time-outs.
my mother HATED spanking. We always got time outs when we were really little. when my brother was little, he wouldn't stay in his room. (I always just sat in there and played when I had a time out...but that boy is a rebel) He's come out, and wander right into mom...like he was proud that he disobeyed her. She used to have to hold the door closed until she could hear that he'd calmed down. ^_^ she'd be standing there, heels dug in, clasping the door knob saying "brandon, go sit down! you'll get out once you calm down for a little while!" while he pulled and yelled on the other side. Eventually he'd calm down, come out, and act as though nothing had happened.
disciplining a kid takes a lot of time, effort, and patience. If anyone is looking for a quick and easy way to get kids to do what they say...they shouldn't be parents.
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2002-03-15 08:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-03-15 08:57 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:Re:
From:no subject
Date: 2002-03-15 10:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-03-15 11:02 am (UTC)My dad is first-generation Italian, but somehow it was always all-American Mom who threatened to get out Grandma's wooden spoon. She never used it on me, because my sister had warned me that these were no idle threats.
Spanking in our household was a highly ritualized affair. After Dad got home, Mom would tell him whatever either of us did, then Dad would lecture the offender at length, and after standing there for the eternity of anticipation, we'd be called forward for the actual spanking. By then, a couple of light slaps was enough to get the message across. It was always used as a punishment of last resort, and never in anger or the heat of the moment. As you can tell, my parents went for the psychological approach over the physical.
Curious question, though. Why the interest?
The more the merrier!
From:no subject
Date: 2002-03-15 01:02 pm (UTC)but I was a bad kid..... I still love&respect my stepdad.
I will never hit my kids though, the fear it put in me was horrible, its much worse than the pain itself. Nobody should be afraid of their parents.
(no subject)
From:Re:
From:no subject
Date: 2002-03-15 01:57 pm (UTC)i can say that too
From:(no subject)
From:Random comment.
Yep. I was spanked too. With belts and switches cut from trees.
It was probably neccessary when I was too young to understand "no" and I appreciate that my dad was always calm when he did it, but it was humiliating when he said "This is the only way we can make you understand."
your mom says...
From:thanks!
From:Re: thanks!
From: