Look ma! I'm published!

[blustocking]

I miss my journal. This isn't honesty. This isn't purging. If I stay true to my nature and post what I feel by being vague, then people will read into it. Perhaps I should preface every entry with "If you think this is about you, it isn't."...even if it is.
This place is just a giant orgy of ego-stroking and reassurance, and I am no exception.
We are messy little creatures.

I should post really hateful, true to the bone things and see who drops me.

I just had a 5 minute conversation with someone who was worried about being dropped from our Danni mailing list when he switches ISP's. Shoot me now.

Comments

[photicdriver.livejournal.com]

i have been feeling the same lately also. and i just started with this shit, although i had open diary before. too much showing off.
be true in your journal, and i know i for one will still read it. unless you say to fuck off, and then i'll just go cower in a corner. ;)

[ericjevitts.livejournal.com]

my journal is fluff.

I'm here for the communities. I never really have much to say in my own journal.

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

I commend you on your recent "house-cleaning". :)

Re:

[ericjevitts.livejournal.com]

I have filters set up now.. so I really only read about 50 out of 200+ journals.

[nic.livejournal.com]

I'm about to put my homepage on my CV...which means I need to clean up my journal entries and put them into private if they would offend any decent employers i have... could be interesting :)

Funny you should mention that.

[qat.livejournal.com]

How true that is, at least from my perspective right about now. LiveJournal may be useful and fun for some still, as it was once for me, but I find it is not so much for me anymore. Beyond being something often personified by weird ego-stroking and reassurance, as you said, I think it's a spy community, voyeurism of the worst kind. I don't know why it didn't strike me before - willed ignorance, wishful thinking, I guess - but I never felt the need to make my entries private in the past. Then I found out that because of the fully 100% ignorant and pathetic delusions, sneakiness, and general idiocy of some, I kinda had to. I wish people I don't give a crap about would just leave me alone as I leave them alone. My life is none of their business just as theirs is none of mine, but then again - if you make a journal public and online, what do you expect? People are stupid and can't help themselves, and if they can find grist for their sorry little mill of delusions - even if it means reading into something when they have NO FUCKING CLUE about who or what is being talked about, or the situation at all - they will. I find that the whole LJ thing just sort of bugs me now. It's like some weird, twisted popularity contest, or play being put on for viewers, with ego-stroking "look at my life on display, I'm going to talk about people I'm pissed at or still in love with or whatever blah-blah, without actually mentioning specific names or places, because then people might not like me, and then people might actually know how I really feel" stuff that I can't even explain. It bugs me. Lately, at least. Anyhow, I just wanted to say that I agree with you, and also that if you are pissed at me and want to let loose and say "Kat, you know what, you really suck" you can feel free :) I prefer to know about such things firsthand, it's just a lot simpler that way. Drop me an email or post it loud and clear :)

I heart you.

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

I heart you!

Kat, I can't think of something you could do that would cause me to want you out of my life. Well, if you did something like kill my cat, then yeah...but you wouldn't even think of it...cause you're cool n' shee-it. Besides, my cat eats from a bowl you bought him!
How cool are YOU?! ;)

I know, I'd feel like a schmuck if I started writing real entries but being vague. I think that's why I don't do it. I still feel like a schmuck for the shite I post, but at least it's better than half-ass honesty. Perhaps I will use that private button a bit more, so I can at least get some things out. I can type faster than I can write with a pen or pencil, and I need that speed to get it out of my head before I lose it.

[qat.livejournal.com]

I find I'm just not interested in writing in my LJ anymore. I've gone back to my hardcopy, it's more satisfying and effective. I guess, though, I still do like LJ for the same reason I started keeping one - it's one way I have to actually stay in touch with my friends who are far away. And I've even met some neat people via LJ whom I've added to my friends list, pretty cool. I just wish that some of the bad stuff associated with LJ did not exist. But like anything online or in real life for that matter, there's the bad and the good and it's a matter of sorting them out and dealing with it.

BOOOOOO! Kittyyyy. He still eats out of that bowl? HEE! That makes me happy :) Booboobelly.....

I miss ye!

[locopuff.livejournal.com]

If I was all the way honest about everything I was feeling in my journal some shit would go down.

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

heheh, I feel you dawg.

What gets me is, you can't even be that vague either, because then people will think it's about them. It especially sucks if you're moody. I should also preface things with, "Just because this is how I'm feeling right here and now, it could change tomorrow, in the next few hours, minutes..."

[motherevol.livejournal.com]

That's why I dig you blu, because I realize your moods can shift every hour, on the hour. As soon as I heard, "I'm a Libra" I knew you were a moody assface, like moi. :))

Screw the collective- This is YOUR journal and you don't need to apologies or tip toe around anybody here. That is crock of horse shit. Be yourself. You know which people love you within this community and which people need to fuck off! Yes, you heard me, fuck off!

Hell, I don't have time to waste on show ponies, backstabbing harpies, or any of that pre-pubescent drama. Start shit with me muthatrucker and you're knocking on hells gate. I don't tolerate BULLSHIT! That's why I carry a boot knife ;)

*smooch* baby!

[nejgasmo.livejournal.com]

Hell, I don't have time to waste on show ponies, backstabbing harpies, or any of that pre-pubescent drama.

I like that. :)

I keep a private journal. Not so much because I feel the need to censor my feelings, but because most of the shit that goes on in my life isn't anyone's business. I keep the LJ for communities.

But, there is some part of me that keeps a private journal because there's things that most people just don't understand. And because they don't understand, sometimes they're quick to judge. This is my life, these are my feelings, and they're not there to be criticized or belittled. Hell, I'd say that people who do read my journal don't know a whole lot about me, since it's an online journal, and what goes on in a journal isn't always how it is in real life. Especially with me. When I'm in a bad mood, I'll say some shitty things, but I don't mean them. It's just the mood. People can't seem to grasp this, no matter how many online journals they read or how well they think they know someone.

I guess what I'm saying is that I can see where Blu's coming from. Honesty's hard when it's up there for the whole world to see. Not even the whole world, just the people you know.

The world's smallest violin, plaing just for you...

[locopuff.livejournal.com]

So "quick to judge", eh?

Wah.

"A nation's progress can be judged by the way it treats its animals" - Dr. Albert Schweitzer

Re: The world's smallest violin, plaing just for you...

[jeffboy.livejournal.com]

And when have you actually seen her mistreat an animal? I happen to live in this apartment. So I actually, y'know, know stuff about her. Whereas you don't. And now you insist on creating melodrama because you seem to think that not only is everything about you, but that you're without flaw, therefore have the right to preach about things you aren't even sure of, to someone you clearly didn't bother to know.

I see Blu's point about being vague now. I'm sick of this.

Oh, whine! *WIMPER!*

[locopuff.livejournal.com]

Hello, little boy.

I don't have to live with someone to have seen more than enough.

You are both hypocritical cunts. So blow me. I can be as flawed as I want and put the smack down on your wimpy, whiny asses all I want. You know why? You both annoy me to no end. It gives me something to do. So what the fuck are you going to do about it? And even I can see that Nej likes to pick apart all of her lame online friends like the little whiny, jobless, pathetic, and hypocritical princess that she is and then bitches when people decide to kick the same shit up into her face. And in addition I'm sorry I let you into my circle of online friends and acquaintances because you're both irritating, whiny fucks. Noone will say anything, but most everyone has bitched about you. You're both twats. So piss off. Or bring it on. Doesn't matter either way to me. You both know I will crush your puny bullshit to smithereens.

Damn... You don't even NEED a reason to start shit, do you?

[nejgasmo.livejournal.com]

I don't have to live with someone to have seen more than enough.

You haven't seen a damn thing. You only drew an ignorant conclusion from an LJ entry I wrote a long time ago while in a bad mood.

You are both hypocritical cunts.

Speak for yourself, drama queen. Just because you deleted your website doesn't mean I don't remember the time you wrote about the thoughts you had of killing your declawed Emi with your bare hands (you remember, right? Warm blood running over your fingers, little spine cracking like a twig? Yeah, I fucking remember, and I didn't judge you for it, did I? I chalked it up to a bad mood, like anyone should). And I also remember that every time I went to your house, it smelled like catshit because you hadn't scooped Emi's litter in a week. No wonder you feel the need to use me as a scapegoat. I'm sure there's a laundry list of shit you've done wrong by your cat.

You aren't crushing anything to smithereens. Your argument's too fucking flimsy to do that. If you can even call the hypocritical bullshit you've been spewing an "argument." This, and you're starting drama all over again over a month after all of this happened. Congratulations! You're even worse than you claim I am!

I'm through. We aren't friends, so I have nothing more to say to you. Go take your frustration out on someone who still gives a shit about your uninformed opinions. Or how about getting the fuck over it? I won't be looking at this thread again, so your drama and your whining will go totally unnoticed by your target audience. It's done. I've said all I'm going to say, and that's all that matters.

I'm sorry about this, Blu. I won't say anything more about this, especially since it's your journal. I want you to know that I didn't mean for any of this shit to start. I was making a general comment on why I keep a private journal, and I guess by doing that I proved your point about the difficulty of being vague.

Aww, did woo gets upset?

[locopuff.livejournal.com]

No, I don't need a reason. All I need is for me to be having a fine day and you making ridiculous comments in someone's journal, Ms. Martyr. And don't act like you won't be reading this, because I KNOW that you will. Speaking of drama...

There's a fine line between drama and honesty. I call my own shots, I acknowledge when I've made a mistake. I can fucking take care of myself. I don't see you doing the same. When you get a freaking job and take responsibility for yourself, then you'll have the ammunition it will take to argue with me. For now, go buy some more cds and then bitch about how you don't have any clothes because you're poor. Bitch about the free apartment your parents pay for. Bitch about your friends who have seen enough of your bullshit to actually get sick of you and comment (honestly) that you're being ridiculous and do that "woe is me, noone understands me" thing you're so good at.

I like that trying to dig up crap bit about how I treat my cat:) That was a good try. Unfortunately for you, most everyone knows me and how I treat my cat. And don't act like I haven't seen you in action before.

This isn't drama. I just like to pick fights:)

Once again proving you don't know shit, about shit.

[jeffboy.livejournal.com]

Ha! Whatever. She may have promised not to say anything, but you really sicken me, it's too difficult to sit tight and let your self righteous bull decide this.

And you think you have it all under your belt, now, right? You have no idea. I bought her the CDs. All 7 of the CDs she's bought in the last 6 months. Why? Because she's my girlfriend, and I like to surprise her with nice things. Mr. C never bought anything for her. I don't feel like I need to compensate for his asshole self, for taking all of my girlfriend's cheques, I just want to get my girlfriend some presents. Understandable? It was the same when we went to Mitsuwa. I had been saving the money in the bank for that trip especially. What is your shit? I'm a whiny hypocritical cunt? I met you once and barely know you, I haven't judged you, I have no right. What right do you think you have?

But if I were to judge you right now, I'd say you're a really SHITTY person.

I pay the rent. I've been paying it for a while. It's not Nej's responsability to pay my way into America, but it doesn't stop her from helping.

We're upset because MCI and Pacific Bell are screwing us over for $3,000. That's the kind of money we won't have for a while.

Finally, what makes you think Nej doesn't have a job already? You haven't spoken to her since you judged us for getting another kitty. We're taking care of ourselves just fine, and we don't ask, or expect, anything from anyone. That's just not how it works. Occasionally Nej will be upset because MCI are practically breaking our mailbox with shit and phonecalls, but she doesn't expect you to care, she just writes what is happening to her.

It's time to actually think about this. Don't find another reason to insult us blindly, or find another thing wrong to bitch about, because it's like listening to a broken record, and people are getting bored.

So I apologise to Blu, whose journal is bearing the brunt of this shit, and I also apologise to her for intruding. I just want this shit to be cleared up and over.

Then again, I don't care either way anymore.

[vivycakes.livejournal.com]

i like my LJ for entertainment :D 'cause i end up writing most of it when i'm bored at work and we've run out of paperwork to do for the moment. anyone who walks by my desk can read it, so it's not like i want to write stuff in it that is such a huge deal. "serious" entries do no good when i want levity to get me through a long shift. they're boring as hell.

i don't think people need to explain themselves in their livejournals. they don't owe their audience anything, so why not just write what they want? if it gets too annoying you can always disable the comments feature! it gets sticky when you want to say something about someone else, and then it's a matter of knowing what the consequences might be. i haven't had a problem with that but obviously it's gotten ugly in some other LJs that i've read.

i'm paranoid. even if my LJ is friends-only i still think anyone could read it. i wouldn't write shit there that hasn't been already dealt with or said to someone's face. what wierds me out sometimes is when people have LJ fights and they have the ignorance to wonder why they can't work their problems out.

If you move that hyphen, it would say "moody ass-shit"

[haddob.livejournal.com]

Fuck em. There are too many one-way streets. Fuck em all.

That hyphen likes where it lives.

[blustocking.livejournal.com]

You're right, boddah-bird.
And that's exactly how I feel right now.

My thoughts on the subject...

[catnamedcosette.livejournal.com]

This is why I'm not too concerned about the number of "friends" I have. It allows me to write whatever I want and not worry about offending anyone (but you, which I don't think I would do anyway since I don't have anything bad to say about you).

I like LJ because I type much faster than I write and because it's online, I can access it anywhere. Also, it allows me to keep in touch with YOU(!) in a way that's different from e-mail. This allows me to share feelings and emotions and such, stuff you might not always e-mail your friends about. But, I can see where people who have hundreds of "friends" how it can become much more than just a way to keep in touch with someone or to let them know what's going on in your life or even just a release that's personal for you. If you had to worry each time you wrote something that you might offend one of the fifty people who read your journal, you probably wouldn't have anything to say. (This is the generic you by the way, not YOU-you. Make sense? :) )

I'm actually contemplating at the moment whether to send my LJ link to Steve, Amanda, etc. so they can keep in touch with me easier or at least to see how I am on a day-to-day basis, if they wanted. But, I wonder if I want more people reading it. I kind of like knowing that no one really sees it.