(no subject)
Nov. 20th, 2002 01:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
blustocking"If she could just get down to using only her brain stem, she'd be cured.
This would be somewhere beyond happiness and sadness.
You don't see fish agonized by wild mood swings.
Sponges never have a bad day."
--from Choke by Chuck Palahniuk
This would be somewhere beyond happiness and sadness.
You don't see fish agonized by wild mood swings.
Sponges never have a bad day."
--from Choke by Chuck Palahniuk
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Sorry to dump this in your journal.
Date: 2002-11-20 01:36 pm (UTC)Sponges never have a bad day."
I am *this* close to getting an outpatient petition signed, my mother arrested, evaluated and medicated. I wish that I was joking, but I am tired of dealing with her maniac/paranoid/personality/narcissistic "episodes" and having the rest of my family gloss over the problem. The fact that she won't admit to having a problem is a problem in itself. Guess who gets to play the bad guy eventually? Yay, I can't fooking wait.
Damn my former psychological training. It would be nice to be as ignorant as the majority of my family, when this is so obvious to my friends/boyfriend/and complete strangers that mommy is sick.
Ugh, this is what I am currently living with while I am trying to get my degree in AZ. It makes it really hard to study, that's for sure. Hmm, maybe I should start slipping lithium into her oatmeal?
Anyway, I am ass deep in insanity, so I sympathize/empathize with yours.
I don't think I know you very well....
Date: 2002-11-20 01:47 pm (UTC)And you used that word...
And have you ever seen this? (http://www.behavenet.com/capsules/disorders/narcissisticpd.htm)
May help, may not, you may already know.
But from the reading I've done, people with NPD are often paranoid, and often not everyone sees it, or indeed glosses over whats going on, because they're not "barking" mad, just a little off.
Good luck, I'm sorry you have to deal with this, especially it being your mother.
(Hi Blu!)
Re: I don't think I know you very well....
Date: 2002-11-20 02:19 pm (UTC)I've seen you around LJ, we have some of the same friend I think.
I found that site while looking up "sociopath" in reference to a friends ex, she kept calling him one, and I didn't know what made one, so I looked it up, and found that site.
NPD is fascinating to me, because I'm convinced someone I know has it, totally, 5 out of 9, more like 9 out of 9. :) Thats me, I obsess.
MPD is weird tho... isn't it usually attributed to chemical imbalance or massive sexual abuse while young? Interesting....
:)
Have fun reading!
heheh (that was me)
The book I ordered I found because of this (http://www.sidran.org/didbr.html). I was so interested in our resident bookstore "crazy" that I started a little research.
My ex, mild sociopath.
His Mother, total bitch. But she was a psychologist and even told him that's what she thought he was. Though, it didn't seem to bother her at all. It took me a few years to see she was probably right. Oy.
Yeah, I figured that out! ;p
Date: 2002-11-20 02:56 pm (UTC)A girl "friend" I know... TOTAL NPD!
I was so relieved when I found that site, to know I wasn't the crazy one!
(of course in true obsessive pattern, I now wonder about everyone! Including Dana, who I subjected you to, sorry about that!)
:)
Me, oh, I'm just a wee bit co-dependant!
;)
Re: Yeah, I figured that out! ;p
Date: 2002-11-21 12:38 pm (UTC)Now, it's just amusing...in a sad, sad way. I often think of that night (that she lost her purse) when I pass by that club or that area.
Bah, no worries. ;)
Re: Yeah, I figured that out! ;p
Date: 2002-11-21 01:03 pm (UTC);)
Re: Yeah, I figured that out! ;p
Date: 2002-11-21 01:16 pm (UTC)Heeeheheh. :)
Re: Yeah, I figured that out! ;p
Date: 2002-11-21 01:19 pm (UTC)Or it may have been some sort of passive aggressive anxiety attack because we didn't do what she wanted to do.
;)
One day I'll finish writing out that trip.... :) I think I'm far enough away from it now. You know, her and I never talked again after that trip. Tho she did still borrow my car when she felt like it, and I had to stalk her to get the keys back when I was selling it. She'd just take it without telling me. Fun fun fun. :)
I'm so sorry! The 2 months that I'd known her before the trip had been a blast!! Honest! I thought it was going to be fun!!
:)
Re: Yeah, I figured that out! ;p
Date: 2002-11-21 01:31 pm (UTC)I can't believe she would just take your car! That's so completely out of line, it's amazing. Then again, some people just can't think about anyone else it would seem.
Don't even apologize. I felt more sorry for you having to get back on that plane with her. >_
Re: Yeah, I figured that out! ;p
Date: 2002-11-21 02:07 pm (UTC)were you there in the airport for the final hissy fit with her Mom on the phone, longdistance, at the check in counter screaming crying and swearing?
I'm amazed they let us on the plane!
:)
ahhh.... good times....
They let her on the plane, with no ticket, with no idea, without anything at all checked... Like to see someone try that now!
:)
Re: Yeah, I figured that out! ;p
Date: 2002-11-22 01:00 pm (UTC)LAX was so, well, lax (har har) before Sept 11.
Re: Yeah, I figured that out! ;p
Date: 2002-11-22 01:19 pm (UTC)AND she'd managed to complain so much about being broke the Loco gave her $20!!
I couldn't believe it!
Cuz Loco was just as broke as we were!
I didn't know about it until we got to Newark and she bought some fast food!
Crazy dude... hey, did I ever pay you for the phone bill she rang up on you?
Please tell me I did... that was like $40!!
:)
Re: Yeah, I figured that out! ;p
Date: 2002-11-22 01:24 pm (UTC)The puffer fish lotion dispenser is sitting here on my desk though. It's come in very handy, and it's purple, can't go wrong. :D
Man, the Jen is so nice. :)
Re: Yeah, I figured that out! ;p
Date: 2002-11-22 01:27 pm (UTC)I'd forgotten about that!!
HA!
:)
I still have a pirate air freshener tuck away somewhere, and a Willy Wonka bar (uneaten)
Neato!
It's just as I was typing it that I was wondering about the money.... I know you sent me the phone bill, and I was going to try and get money out of her, but realized that would entail talking to her, so I was gonna pay it myself... but I don't remember if I did!!! :( doooood, if I had the cash right now, I'd give it to you! Jen too! Man... that was one crazy trip.
:)
I wanna come visit again!
new subject line!
Date: 2002-11-22 01:35 pm (UTC)Yeah, those pirate air fresheners were STANKY. Good thing the smell wore off quick. Mine is hanging in my poor car. She's so neglected.
Re: new subject line!
Date: 2002-11-22 02:00 pm (UTC)But we'll see, kamikaze visits again!
:)
Would love to!
Re: I don't think I know you very well....
Date: 2002-11-20 02:28 pm (UTC)If she answers fairly and honestly (which she won't) she will be in the high to very high rating range in most of these categories. Heh, I took it and I'm just moderate to low. I don't understand how THAT happened.
Re: I don't think I know you very well....
Date: 2002-11-20 01:57 pm (UTC)Yes, and the other person that recognizes the problem is my brother (we're all living in his condo too, btw. Me for college and Mom for retirement). He thinks by "glossing over" the episodes that the problem is just going to magically go away, when we all know it perpetuates the ill behavior to exist and thrive.
Personally, I love the woman, but I don't like her. She thinks everyone around her is to blame and she won't/can't assume any responsibility for her own actions/behavior. It is saddening/frustrating and very overwhelming.
Thank you very much for the shout out. Any help/opinions/advice/experience is deeply welcome on this end.
Re: I don't think I know you very well....
Date: 2002-11-20 02:45 pm (UTC)It does sound like she may have Narse traits...
NPD is part of the "cluster B" of personality disorders, along with Histronic, borderline and Antisocial.
And it's possible to have co-diagnosis, with two or more.
So...
The blaming and the refusing to accept responsibility, sounds VERY narcissistic.
From what I've read, this is almost completely untreatable.
Their defences are such, that they cannot see what they are doing wrong. They only know how to use people, for money, emotion, and stictly speaking any attention at all. They are exceptionally good at manipulation, and turning situations, converstations, everything around to make themselves look good.
This site was really helpful to me (http://samvak.tripod.com/faq4.html)
"...the key to coping with the narcissist: If he has a rage attack – rage back ... Mirror the narcissist’s actions and repeat his words. If he threatens – threaten back and credibly try to use the same language and content. If he leaves the house – leave it as well, disappear on him. If he is suspicious – act suspicious. Be critical, denigrating, humiliating, go down to his level – because that is where he permanently is. Faced with his mirror image – the narcissist always recoils."
no subject
Date: 2002-11-20 03:09 pm (UTC)Very, very interesting.
Christ, that must be a horrible way to live with someone though....mimicking them all the time. You might start to wonder what you're OWN feelings really are.
Re:
Date: 2002-11-20 05:07 pm (UTC)Indifference is key.
They are looking for a reaction, if you give them none they are faced with what they are doing, but they can rationalize on a dime.
Personally, I think it must be a horrible way to live, being one!
To never have it within yourself to feel good about yourself without having exterior people validate you... sad.
We all have our down days, when we need picking up, reassurance, etc.
Can you imagine what it's like to live in that state perpetually?
Crazy sad!
no subject
Date: 2002-11-20 05:38 pm (UTC)On top of that though, she suffers from extreme mood swings, ranging between episodes of acute euphoria (mania) and severe depression. Aka: bipolar/maniac disorder. If she isn't verbally attacking somebody in this condo, she's depressed and having random crying jags.
Gah! It is horrible to see somebody's mind give up on them, but its even worse to actually be knee deep in their shit too. If misery loves company then I would prefer to be by myself.
Re:
Date: 2002-11-20 07:23 pm (UTC)Do you mean she wasn't always like this?
no subject
Date: 2002-11-20 08:07 pm (UTC)In retrospect I can see traces of her mental meltdown, but being away from her for over 8 years, it seems like a sudden switch in personality/emotions. It has always been this way, but I didn't know how to read the signs when I was a teenager in the '80s. Thank the gods for getting educated. ;)
Re:
Date: 2002-11-21 12:36 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2002-11-21 01:22 pm (UTC)I do feel for them, this one girl in particular, but I can't get near, they're toxic to me.
Tho I have a very hard time accepting that they can't be "helped". I have a hard time accepting that sort of hopelessness. I think everyone is capable of growing, some are just slower than others.
;)
I know I am!!
S... L....O....W
Re:
Date: 2002-11-22 01:01 pm (UTC)Re: I don't think I know you very well....
I ordered a book at work about "multiple" personality disorder. I can't wait to read about that as well.
HELLO!
Ignore that OTHER comment. ;)
Re: I don't think I know you very well....
Date: 2002-11-20 02:08 pm (UTC)forgive me?
Re: I don't think I know you very well....
Date: 2002-11-20 02:24 pm (UTC)I don't post a lot either... well not as much as Blu...
/ducks
;)
awwwww daaaag
So I had to get a few more journals to pour my wee brain into, SO WHAT! heee. :)
Re: awwwww daaaag
Date: 2002-11-20 02:51 pm (UTC)Oh, I know what I was like!
I'm just teasing!
(mind you I only have 4 lj's.... not 10 was it?)
;)
Re: awwwww daaaag
Date: 2002-11-20 03:01 pm (UTC);)
Re: no worries
Date: 2002-11-20 02:09 pm (UTC)Thanks for the email/IM offer. That is really sweet of you. I just may take you up on that offer. Oh, I use Yahoo IM: motherevol666, btw...maybe, I should consider downloading AIM since so many LJers use it.
p.s. Do you mind if I added you to the infamous friends lists? Also, tell me when you'll be in the AZ neighborhood. I'd love to meet up. :)
Re: no worries
Date: 2002-11-20 02:11 pm (UTC)Ha! I already have yo sweet ass added and hell yes, you must come meet M and I, okay?
Re: no worries
Date: 2002-11-20 02:16 pm (UTC)And I don't know if I'll add you back on that one. It's absolutely NOTHING against you, you know. Maybe sometime down in the near future. :}
Re: no worries
Date: 2002-11-20 02:18 pm (UTC)WEH!
Re: no worries
Date: 2002-11-20 02:27 pm (UTC)Even your super sneaky one.
Cause I always do shit like that, and it gets me into trouble!!
no subject
Can't really "hide" in a public forum. ;)
Anyway, you're someone I trust.
Re:
Date: 2002-11-20 02:39 pm (UTC)I was just clicking through friendslists of people on my friends friendslists.
It makes me feel so good that you trust me though ^_^
Thank you.
If you ever want to add me to any of those super sneaky lists, I would love to be added. I want tell a soul it's you.
no worries
Date: 2002-11-20 02:02 pm (UTC)I'm sorry you are having to deal with that chaos. You're a strong, strong person and I hope it only gets easier. I've never been good at ignoring problems, so I understand your frustration.
I say, get everything out on the table, or it's only going to get worse.
If you ever need to talk, please e-mail. Are you on AIM at all?
Hey, I just realized I'll be driving through Arizona when I move. Perhaps we could meet.
You too should ignore that OTHER comment. ;
Re: Sorry to dump this in your journal.
Date: 2002-11-20 02:09 pm (UTC)Ah, but once she's better, guess who'll be the hero?
no subject
Date: 2002-11-20 01:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-11-20 02:04 pm (UTC)I bought all of his books finally (because he came in and signed them all) except the new one. I might buy that one soon as well. :)
Re:
Date: 2002-11-20 04:20 pm (UTC)need more books!
one can never have enough!